Majestic Fucking Monster

Today as I walked around the grocery store I continued to run into the same lady over and over again. I ended up in line two people behind her, but the guy in front of me decided he wanted to continue shopping. When I stepped up to the register the lady’s groceries were still there, but she was nowhere to be found. The cashier told me she had forgot her card in the car and ran to go get it. I told him “I’ll pay for it”. He said “Are you sure?!”. “Yes, it’s only $35.00”. The cashier and the girl bagging both told me how blessed I was going to be for paying for the lady’s groceries. The lady finally came back with the card and the cashier told her I paid for her food. The lady said “damn for real, I only went to get my card real quick; thank you”. She offered to pay me back, but I declined.

Everybody thought I was this kind hero with a big heart, but truth be told….. I’m the asshole that wanted her to get the fuck out of my way because I’m impatient (LMAO). It pays to be on the right side of someone’s “ain’t shit” ways.

Happy Holidays!!!!!