​ATTRACTIVE MEN ARE FUCKING BORING!!!!! 

When I say attractive I’m referring to pretty much all good looking men and ugly men who have a considerable amount of women for whatever reason. I don’t mind starting a convo, BUT DAMN! They just expect to set back and be entertained by my keen wit thee entire fucking time…. 

ME: “Muthafucka you’re not going to return the favor?!?!” 

Then they’ll randomly hit you with that indecisive “what you tryna do?” line…. They’ll say it in a way that’s suggestive and shyly open to interpretation…. “Please don’t throw out any innuendo sir, because I can assure you I’d rather fuck a more interesting man.”

AND they automatically assume you want to have sex with them as much as they want to have sex with you…. “You want to fuck the shit out of me because I’ve given you a reason; your mundane ass haven’t given me any reason to even like you. I guess I’m supposed to like you, because you like me????”

HIM: “sooo… you really not turned on at all?!”…. 

ME: “I mean…. I’m good.”

THE HONEST ANSWER: “Am I turned on at the fact there is hard dick across the table that desires me…. Yeah, that’s kind of cute…. But I wouldn’t say I’m turned on by you, as a man. I’m not fighting back the urge to smuggle your balls inside my fucking cheeks if that’s what you’re asking.”

I’m bout to start just flat out telling niggas they boring aa fuck…. From here on out you muthafuckas are NOT SAFE! You’ve been warned 😠

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​HARD LUST FOR A FAKE ASS NUN

I’ve unknowingly became sexy on some weird shit. I guess because I don’t have skin showing, I had to make up for my lack of sexiness in my appearances, with sexiness in other things I do…. There’s a dude at the job that all the ladies like. I wasnt paying this mf no mind. He’s an older man at least in his 40’s and of course he smooth af. Not sure when I caught his eye but this mf started blushing on the low because I touched his water bottle…. I looked at him like “wtf is wrong with you?”. I didn’t know men his age could even blush. He started laughing and shit, and all the other women started to get curious asking what was going on?…. Hell if I know; this nigga weird…. Once all the women settled down and gave up on discovering why he was having some much without them. He looked at me and politely asked for his water bottle back. He said it with a seductive wink 😉 like it had my juices on it or something.

“Ooohhhhhhh you like that????” (Mmmmm)

One day I showed him (without true intentions) what I could do with a bottle of hand sanitizer that accidently (serious accident) opened while I was fiddling with it and slightly squirted out…. He bout lost his fucking mind!!…. “Over hand sanitizer?!?!?!” 😕…. Let me put this shit down before this handsome mf get us both fired. Smh I promise I don’t be doing shit to entice anybody into doing anything (for real)…. Men be staring at you like they ready to toss yo ass up for no reason…. Sir I’m just over here being brown skin on a Thursday, relax.

I remember the time before last, when dude (mid to late 20’s) was staring at me so hard the white boy got nervous for me. The white boy asked the other dude “what’s going on?!” as he looked back and forth between the other dude and I…. I looked at the white boy as the other dude blatantly ignored the fuck out of him. The white boy continued to ask the other dude why he was staring at me. White boy started to focus on me because he wasn’t getting a response from the dude. I just turned around like neither one of them was there. That nigga was clearly having a moment of hard lust that came out of thin air….In a completely seperate event the other dude who was staring at me told me “sometimes when I’m staring at you I realize it, and I ask myself why the fuck am I staring at her?” (as he laughed)…. Uhhhh, because you’re turned on by my ability to blink my fucking eyelids that’s why….. I didn’t say anything tho, he had a girlfriend and I wasn’t bout to open up that can of worms.

When I first started to alter myself as a woman, I started covering myself up more and not showing my hair. I thought no man would ever talk to me because I wasn’t sexy looking and all the other girls would look better than me (because they were showing skin). Normally the only skin men can see are my hands and my face… That was a long time ago and they were silly thoughts that I quickly pushed out of my head, because I promptly decided idgaf if men didn’t think I was attractive anymore…. I’m still going to do me.

But I haven’t missed a beat….. I’m telling you If a man thinks you’re sexy, YOU’RE SEXY. Other women showing skin may get his attention, but he’s for damn sure still willing to show you some love, especially in the event you can keep him in that blissful state of pure lust…. He’ll actually start giving you more attention than the other women. Sometimes they’ll completely forget about the other women (maybe not completely, but close enough).

Men will have dreams about you too…. Stop trying so damn hard…. I put less than a quarter of the amount of effort other women put in and men still fuck with me regardless.

Just is what it is…. They can’t help it.

He’s Too Good for You

I’m always woman enough to be honest with myself, and I’ll say that there has only been three men out of my entire life that I didn’t deserve.

Everybody always think they’re good enough for anybody, but I don’t believe that. I know damn well there are men who don’t deserve me, and I know damn well there are men who I don’t deserve…. I’ve met three of these men.

The first one was a great guy who really liked me. He did his best to try to make sure he was always there to help. This dude was absolutely amazing! The only man who help me study for my exams. He did more than just help me study, he was my fucking tutor. I was having trouble, and he came through with the “we got this” attitude and clean my shit up. I got one of the highest scores on the final exam. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about this man. I told him how I felt about his overwhelming generosity, but I don’t think he believed me because I didn’t want to be in a relationship. I remember him asking me what’s wrong with him? NOT A GOD DAMN THING!!! We just wasn’t a good fit, and we still probably aren’t…. I think I didn’t deserve him in my life because I (unintentionally) made him feel bad about himself and didn’t try hard enough to correct it. He was worth that extra effort, but I said “Oh well”. I don’t want to be with him, but he’d be a amazing friend….. I do deserve him as a friend now.

Second guy was someone I was involved with for a quick minute. He wasn’t as great as the first guy, but nonetheless he was a good man that I didn’t know what to do with at the time. Out of all the guys I dated he was the only one who never once made me feel unsafe or uncomfortable around him. Other guys will say things that indirectly threaten you physically or would potentially harm your health. He was the king of making a woman feel comfortable. When I had a cold he tucked me in and brought me ice cream. I asked for ice cream because it’s been clinically proven to cure common colds…. I wouldn’t know what security feels like if it wasn’t for him. He gave me a key to his appointment, but I shortly returned it. I don’t regret not being with him, but I’d like him to know that I appreciate everything he did. He tried to take care of me, but I wasn’t ready and he knew it. Even after he knew I wasn’t ready he still was willing to waste his time on giving it a second shot (that i didn’t ask for) a year later…. I do deserve him as a good friend now, but he won’t be reading this.

Third guy was actually a platonic friend…. As a reoccurring theme I didn’t actually want to be with him either. I never really wanted any of these men (and I still don’t), but that doesn’t stop me from knowing that if I did, I wouldn’t have deserved them back in the day…. This last guy is the only man I currently still feel like I probably don’t deserve. I don’t think I’m developed enough as a woman to adequately take him on….. It was weird because we were good friends for some time and then one day out of nowhere he said on some “FYI” shit “you don’t deserve me”. Of course he’s a good friend so he said it much nicer than that, but I guess he felt like he needed to let me know so I didn’t get any bright ideas….. “Ummm first off muthafucka I don’t want you, (long pause) and besides I already know that. Your punk ass didn’t have to say it out loud”…. Smh, good thing I’m not a sensitive human being. That man tried to squash some invisible dream he made up for me. That’s my boy though and I would’ve did the same shit to him if the shoe was on the other foot. We have zero chill in this bitch.

Good Times….

Change of Surroundings

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I’m ready to make some changes…. Ready to surround myself with beautifully enlightened individuals…. People who are wealthy with unique opinions and judicious about their cognitive development…. Gracious to distinctness and hospitable to constructive criticism…. The ones who interrogate customs & traditions, and do not adopt prominent fiction…. I desire to utilize and devote myself to intimate dialogues for my own selfish consciousness. I crave flooded synapses, drowned in complex simplicities, decorated with optimism.