​ATTRACTIVE MEN ARE FUCKING BORING!!!!! 

When I say attractive I’m referring to pretty much all good looking men and ugly men who have a considerable amount of women for whatever reason. I don’t mind starting a convo, BUT DAMN! They just expect to set back and be entertained by my keen wit thee entire fucking time…. 

ME: “Muthafucka you’re not going to return the favor?!?!” 

Then they’ll randomly hit you with that indecisive “what you tryna do?” line…. They’ll say it in a way that’s suggestive and shyly open to interpretation…. “Please don’t throw out any innuendo sir, because I can assure you I’d rather fuck a more interesting man.”

AND they automatically assume you want to have sex with them as much as they want to have sex with you…. “You want to fuck the shit out of me because I’ve given you a reason; your mundane ass haven’t given me any reason to even like you. I guess I’m supposed to like you, because you like me????”

HIM: “sooo… you really not turned on at all?!”…. 

ME: “I mean…. I’m good.”

THE HONEST ANSWER: “Am I turned on at the fact there is hard dick across the table that desires me…. Yeah, that’s kind of cute…. But I wouldn’t say I’m turned on by you, as a man. I’m not fighting back the urge to smuggle your balls inside my fucking cheeks if that’s what you’re asking.”

I’m bout to start just flat out telling niggas they boring aa fuck…. From here on out you muthafuckas are NOT SAFE! You’ve been warned 😠

​FAMILY VIEWS

I had someone in my family accuse me of being stubborn and holding a grudge. Furthest thing from the truth…. Had another family member say I hang my good deeds over everyone’s head. Furthest thing from the truth again…. Ppl have no idea how much I forgive ppl on a daily basis and how much shit I do without recognition. Depending on who you talk to you’ll hear extremely different stories about my character. I love my family, but if I passed today I think they might actually know the least about me, but everyone will look to them to honor my existence.

I wish at least one person on earth will know the true me. My family not knowing who I really am is NOT solely their fault. I intentionally tell them the minimum about myself. I learned to live in the shawdows a long long time ago. I honestly don’t want anyone speaking on my behalf when I’m dead; therefore I am charging myself to create something that can speak for itself. 

It’s not about NOT wanting the negative aspects of my identity to surface, because truthfully I wear my flaws on my fucking sleeves…. I have always isolated myself (even as a child) to the point that at least 65% – 95% of my time is/was spent physically alone. There’s no way in hell my family could have known me considering I locked myself in my room majority of the time. My family must have only seen me maybe 35% of the time (at the most). They don’t know me well enough to speak on my character anymore than anyone else (non related) does….

I didn’t lock myself away as a child because I didn’t like them. I locked myself away because I preferred solitude. Nonetheless, they don’t fucking know me.

​HARD LUST FOR A FAKE ASS NUN

I’ve unknowingly became sexy on some weird shit. I guess because I don’t have skin showing, I had to make up for my lack of sexiness in my appearances, with sexiness in other things I do…. There’s a dude at the job that all the ladies like. I wasnt paying this mf no mind. He’s an older man at least in his 40’s and of course he smooth af. Not sure when I caught his eye but this mf started blushing on the low because I touched his water bottle…. I looked at him like “wtf is wrong with you?”. I didn’t know men his age could even blush. He started laughing and shit, and all the other women started to get curious asking what was going on?…. Hell if I know; this nigga weird…. Once all the women settled down and gave up on discovering why he was having some much without them. He looked at me and politely asked for his water bottle back. He said it with a seductive wink 😉 like it had my juices on it or something.

“Ooohhhhhhh you like that????” (Mmmmm)

One day I showed him (without true intentions) what I could do with a bottle of hand sanitizer that accidently (serious accident) opened while I was fiddling with it and slightly squirted out…. He bout lost his fucking mind!!…. “Over hand sanitizer?!?!?!” 😕…. Let me put this shit down before this handsome mf get us both fired. Smh I promise I don’t be doing shit to entice anybody into doing anything (for real)…. Men be staring at you like they ready to toss yo ass up for no reason…. Sir I’m just over here being brown skin on a Thursday, relax.

I remember the time before last, when dude (mid to late 20’s) was staring at me so hard the white boy got nervous for me. The white boy asked the other dude “what’s going on?!” as he looked back and forth between the other dude and I…. I looked at the white boy as the other dude blatantly ignored the fuck out of him. The white boy continued to ask the other dude why he was staring at me. White boy started to focus on me because he wasn’t getting a response from the dude. I just turned around like neither one of them was there. That nigga was clearly having a moment of hard lust that came out of thin air….In a completely seperate event the other dude who was staring at me told me “sometimes when I’m staring at you I realize it, and I ask myself why the fuck am I staring at her?” (as he laughed)…. Uhhhh, because you’re turned on by my ability to blink my fucking eyelids that’s why….. I didn’t say anything tho, he had a girlfriend and I wasn’t bout to open up that can of worms.

When I first started to alter myself as a woman, I started covering myself up more and not showing my hair. I thought no man would ever talk to me because I wasn’t sexy looking and all the other girls would look better than me (because they were showing skin). Normally the only skin men can see are my hands and my face… That was a long time ago and they were silly thoughts that I quickly pushed out of my head, because I promptly decided idgaf if men didn’t think I was attractive anymore…. I’m still going to do me.

But I haven’t missed a beat….. I’m telling you If a man thinks you’re sexy, YOU’RE SEXY. Other women showing skin may get his attention, but he’s for damn sure still willing to show you some love, especially in the event you can keep him in that blissful state of pure lust…. He’ll actually start giving you more attention than the other women. Sometimes they’ll completely forget about the other women (maybe not completely, but close enough).

Men will have dreams about you too…. Stop trying so damn hard…. I put less than a quarter of the amount of effort other women put in and men still fuck with me regardless.

Just is what it is…. They can’t help it.

The Kind of Shit That Makes You Ugly

Had a conversation with my little sister last night. Well, more like I cussed her out for doing silly shit. I feel like the more I mature and push myself to be a woman, the more I lose my little sister and cousins.

Terrible combination of trying to focus on bettering yourself, but neglecting the very ones who you’re trying to set an example for….

My little sister is 15 and she’s been doing embarrassing shit on the internet. She looked me in my face and repeatedly lied for 20 minutes. I pushed her down and yelled at her, but part of me just wanted to chill and talk it out. Just get to the bottom of why this silly shit continues to happen.

Long story short my little sister values beauty over intellect. The shit threw me off because I don’t care about appearance. I walk around with a turban on five days a week. Only thing people see are my hands, neck, and face. Nonetheless beauty is her ultimate goal.

Couldn’t help but ask her why she wanted to be pretty? Doesn’t really seem like beauty can get you too much of shit these days. Since buying ass became popular; seems like everybody can be pretty with just a few nips and tucks. To no surprise she couldn’t answer my question. I asked what she was going to do with all her beauty once she obtained it? Once again the room falls silent….

So you just want to be pretty just for the sake of being pretty?!?!?!

I asked her what’s motivating her to want to be beautiful? Everyone knows I want to be rich so I can start a school and build a bank in Africa. Wealth is a tool I want to utilize to help people. What is beauty a tool for? She doesn’t answer….

Fuck kind of goals are these?!?!

So I decide to call her out on her bullshit. I told her she didn’t really want to be beautiful. She just wants to be a “bad bitch”. Looked around her room and not one thing in her room told me her biggest dream was to be a beauty queen. I asked her if she wants to be beautiful then why hasn’t she entered any pageants? Why hasn’t she posted any makeup tutorials online? Why isn’t she physically training and practicing water downed ass responses to all them obvious ass questions they ask during pageants? Why aren’t there any tiaras in the room? Where is all the pretty shit at? She hasn’t tried to pursue pageant coaching or anything.

You’re going to look me in my face and cry about how being beautiful is more important than being intelligent, but I’ve never even heard you bring up the words “beauty queen” in your life.

You’re full of shit, and just like you can look me in my face in tell me a lie; I can look you in your damn face and call you a liar. You don’t want to be beautiful, you just want to be a “bad bitch”.

I don’t think looks are that damn important but at the very least if your going to put some superficial shit like beauty over intellect, then you better really be about your shit. I may not care about beauty but I know the difference between Miss. America and Superhead.

I’d respect my little sister’s position more if she actually had a fucking trophy. She out here on some thirsty shit, doing it for “Instagram likes”. She’s doesn’t want to be beautiful she just wants the easy attention that comes with being pretty. She’d actually have to put in some hard work if she wanted to be Miss. Universe.

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She wants to be beautiful with long hair, and whatever else makes females “pretty”. She thinks she’s no cute enough, she’s not light enough, her hair’s not long enough…. So I told her we’re going to volunteer together. Since she’s making a big deal over her appearance. I think it would be a good idea to go meet some cancer patients. I want to put some shit in perspective for her. I told her we’re going to go and I dare her to walk out of there feeling sorry for herself because her hair isn’t long. There are little girls who don’t have hair at all. Women who don’t have breast anymore….. But you out here complaining and feeling bad because your “Instagram likes” aren’t flourishing. You’re emotionally disturbed because you’ve yet to prove your prettier than your peers.

It’s definitely my fault because I haven’t talked to her about the important things in life. There’s nothing wrong with a woman just wanting to feel beautiful, but you just have to work on it one day at a time. Make sure your soul feels good by giving back to your community. Workout so you can have your dream body.

Being gorgeous is great, and if you fall short of being the most beautiful woman in the world, just chill. You don’t have to complain and be a brat about it. That’s the kind of shit that makes you ugly.

Encouragement of the Black Female

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Up thinking about a program for young females that would teach them at an early age how to make healthy decisions.

One of the biggest downfalls in the Black community is the Black female’s inability to make good choices. We’re raised by the media instead of our mothers. In most cases our mothers are either out chasing men, or she’s too busy working multiple jobs to provide. When we’re raised by the media we value fat asses, thighs, long straight blonde hair, and misguided violence.

If we can just get to these girls before they dig holes for themselves by dropping out of school, not continuing on to college, or getting pregnant at an early age. We can really change the dynamics of our community. There are a lot of Black women out here who make great decisions, but our goal should be to completely eliminate unhealthy behavior and decision making in all of our men/women.

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The program should focus on Black females, not excluding males, but it should be openly conveyed to the young boys who’d like to participate that it’s for the encouragement of the Black female. Nothing should be directly designed for the young boy, everything should focus on her. When the young boy ask why none of the courses are design for him? Tell him that the woman she’ll soon become is design for him.

You’re Meaningless Entertainment

I wasn’t going write on the subject, but everyone else seems to be captivated by the words or Donald Sterling. Honestly I didn’t listen to the recording and I have no intentions to listen to it. There’s nothing that man could possibly say that would surprise me. When you study American history you’ll be introduced to horrific events that are a lot worse than someone’s petty opinion.

Rather than focus on the recording I’d like to focus on the relevance of entertainer’s social responsibility. I’ve seen multiple people express why athletes and other celebrities should not be expected to participate in social issues involving race.

I will say that Donald Sterling has a right to freely express himself…. That’s his right….

I understand why many people feel like entertainer’s have no responsibility to social movements. It’s unfair to pressure someone into being a political activist for something they may not personally agree with. They could potentially lose money and destroy their reputations. I agree that we can’t expect entertainers to solve our social or political problems. Many of them are not intellectual beings capable of producing even slightly reasonable solutions. Celebrities are here to entertain the public; we have politicians and community activist to handle the more serious issues.

Although I understand these points above, I still personally believe that everyone plays their part in making history. I think one of the main problems in the black community is we don’t expect enough out of each other. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard parents tell their children they better graduate from high school; as if a diploma is still acceptable in today’s economy. Women not expecting their husbands to be faithful, so she throws her chin a little higher and forces a smile while she washes another woman’s lipstick off his collar. Fathers who don’t expect their baby momz to use the child support check she’s been mocking his ego with, to purchase anything for his son/daughter. Nobody expects anything more out of anyone, and nobody feels responsible. We need to start holding each other accountable.

Black solidarity is at an all time low…. Black people are probably thee most individualistic group on the planet. While our Caucasian counterparts practice the “good ol’ boy” system, some of us are gunning each other down in the middle of the street. We are too departmentalized in our approach to solving our common struggle. There’s a reason it takes a village to raise a child…. As your neighbor if I saw your child outside doing something they weren’t supposed to do; I would try to correct their behavior. I’m not going to walk back in the house and say “I don’t have kids, that’s not my department”.

I don’t care if they’re a celebrity or not, every adult human being should be expected to educate oneself and evoke change based on that acquired knowledge.

Do I think that any of these men could be the next Muhammad Ali?…. HELL NAH!!!!
Muhammad Ali was one of the greatest athletes and outspoken activist/representatives in the history of sports. It would be hard to choreograph one individual to be the next Ali, let alone a starting five…. I do think that these men have a responsibility to implement any agenda that promotes progress in their communities. Every adult should have some type of political involvement and explicitly support whatever social/economic/political issue that moves them. You don’t get out of being an adult just because you’re a celebrity.

I’ve also noticed that people who don’t think we should have political expectations for entertainers are a little dramatic. Nobody expect these entertainers to take over the White House. We should just use them as advertising outlets for political agendas that support Black people. Most of them are promoting agendas already anyhow.

I think its kinda messed up that anyone would say that all someone is good for is meaningless entertainment. I’d be pissed If I was an entertainer and someone had that attitude towards me. People are more than their occupations…..

Next question: who are we to say that because a person is Black, they should support the Black community?

I know I’m not going to hold anybody at gun point for their help.