​HARD LUST FOR A FAKE ASS NUN

I’ve unknowingly became sexy on some weird shit. I guess because I don’t have skin showing, I had to make up for my lack of sexiness in my appearances, with sexiness in other things I do…. There’s a dude at the job that all the ladies like. I wasnt paying this mf no mind. He’s an older man at least in his 40’s and of course he smooth af. Not sure when I caught his eye but this mf started blushing on the low because I touched his water bottle…. I looked at him like “wtf is wrong with you?”. I didn’t know men his age could even blush. He started laughing and shit, and all the other women started to get curious asking what was going on?…. Hell if I know; this nigga weird…. Once all the women settled down and gave up on discovering why he was having some much without them. He looked at me and politely asked for his water bottle back. He said it with a seductive wink 😉 like it had my juices on it or something.

“Ooohhhhhhh you like that????” (Mmmmm)

One day I showed him (without true intentions) what I could do with a bottle of hand sanitizer that accidently (serious accident) opened while I was fiddling with it and slightly squirted out…. He bout lost his fucking mind!!…. “Over hand sanitizer?!?!?!” 😕…. Let me put this shit down before this handsome mf get us both fired. Smh I promise I don’t be doing shit to entice anybody into doing anything (for real)…. Men be staring at you like they ready to toss yo ass up for no reason…. Sir I’m just over here being brown skin on a Thursday, relax.

I remember the time before last, when dude (mid to late 20’s) was staring at me so hard the white boy got nervous for me. The white boy asked the other dude “what’s going on?!” as he looked back and forth between the other dude and I…. I looked at the white boy as the other dude blatantly ignored the fuck out of him. The white boy continued to ask the other dude why he was staring at me. White boy started to focus on me because he wasn’t getting a response from the dude. I just turned around like neither one of them was there. That nigga was clearly having a moment of hard lust that came out of thin air….In a completely seperate event the other dude who was staring at me told me “sometimes when I’m staring at you I realize it, and I ask myself why the fuck am I staring at her?” (as he laughed)…. Uhhhh, because you’re turned on by my ability to blink my fucking eyelids that’s why….. I didn’t say anything tho, he had a girlfriend and I wasn’t bout to open up that can of worms.

When I first started to alter myself as a woman, I started covering myself up more and not showing my hair. I thought no man would ever talk to me because I wasn’t sexy looking and all the other girls would look better than me (because they were showing skin). Normally the only skin men can see are my hands and my face… That was a long time ago and they were silly thoughts that I quickly pushed out of my head, because I promptly decided idgaf if men didn’t think I was attractive anymore…. I’m still going to do me.

But I haven’t missed a beat….. I’m telling you If a man thinks you’re sexy, YOU’RE SEXY. Other women showing skin may get his attention, but he’s for damn sure still willing to show you some love, especially in the event you can keep him in that blissful state of pure lust…. He’ll actually start giving you more attention than the other women. Sometimes they’ll completely forget about the other women (maybe not completely, but close enough).

Men will have dreams about you too…. Stop trying so damn hard…. I put less than a quarter of the amount of effort other women put in and men still fuck with me regardless.

Just is what it is…. They can’t help it.

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The Kind of Shit That Makes You Ugly

Had a conversation with my little sister last night. Well, more like I cussed her out for doing silly shit. I feel like the more I mature and push myself to be a woman, the more I lose my little sister and cousins.

Terrible combination of trying to focus on bettering yourself, but neglecting the very ones who you’re trying to set an example for….

My little sister is 15 and she’s been doing embarrassing shit on the internet. She looked me in my face and repeatedly lied for 20 minutes. I pushed her down and yelled at her, but part of me just wanted to chill and talk it out. Just get to the bottom of why this silly shit continues to happen.

Long story short my little sister values beauty over intellect. The shit threw me off because I don’t care about appearance. I walk around with a turban on five days a week. Only thing people see are my hands, neck, and face. Nonetheless beauty is her ultimate goal.

Couldn’t help but ask her why she wanted to be pretty? Doesn’t really seem like beauty can get you too much of shit these days. Since buying ass became popular; seems like everybody can be pretty with just a few nips and tucks. To no surprise she couldn’t answer my question. I asked what she was going to do with all her beauty once she obtained it? Once again the room falls silent….

So you just want to be pretty just for the sake of being pretty?!?!?!

I asked her what’s motivating her to want to be beautiful? Everyone knows I want to be rich so I can start a school and build a bank in Africa. Wealth is a tool I want to utilize to help people. What is beauty a tool for? She doesn’t answer….

Fuck kind of goals are these?!?!

So I decide to call her out on her bullshit. I told her she didn’t really want to be beautiful. She just wants to be a “bad bitch”. Looked around her room and not one thing in her room told me her biggest dream was to be a beauty queen. I asked her if she wants to be beautiful then why hasn’t she entered any pageants? Why hasn’t she posted any makeup tutorials online? Why isn’t she physically training and practicing water downed ass responses to all them obvious ass questions they ask during pageants? Why aren’t there any tiaras in the room? Where is all the pretty shit at? She hasn’t tried to pursue pageant coaching or anything.

You’re going to look me in my face and cry about how being beautiful is more important than being intelligent, but I’ve never even heard you bring up the words “beauty queen” in your life.

You’re full of shit, and just like you can look me in my face in tell me a lie; I can look you in your damn face and call you a liar. You don’t want to be beautiful, you just want to be a “bad bitch”.

I don’t think looks are that damn important but at the very least if your going to put some superficial shit like beauty over intellect, then you better really be about your shit. I may not care about beauty but I know the difference between Miss. America and Superhead.

I’d respect my little sister’s position more if she actually had a fucking trophy. She out here on some thirsty shit, doing it for “Instagram likes”. She’s doesn’t want to be beautiful she just wants the easy attention that comes with being pretty. She’d actually have to put in some hard work if she wanted to be Miss. Universe.

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She wants to be beautiful with long hair, and whatever else makes females “pretty”. She thinks she’s no cute enough, she’s not light enough, her hair’s not long enough…. So I told her we’re going to volunteer together. Since she’s making a big deal over her appearance. I think it would be a good idea to go meet some cancer patients. I want to put some shit in perspective for her. I told her we’re going to go and I dare her to walk out of there feeling sorry for herself because her hair isn’t long. There are little girls who don’t have hair at all. Women who don’t have breast anymore….. But you out here complaining and feeling bad because your “Instagram likes” aren’t flourishing. You’re emotionally disturbed because you’ve yet to prove your prettier than your peers.

It’s definitely my fault because I haven’t talked to her about the important things in life. There’s nothing wrong with a woman just wanting to feel beautiful, but you just have to work on it one day at a time. Make sure your soul feels good by giving back to your community. Workout so you can have your dream body.

Being gorgeous is great, and if you fall short of being the most beautiful woman in the world, just chill. You don’t have to complain and be a brat about it. That’s the kind of shit that makes you ugly.