Suicide Via Pride

How much does freedom cost?

Sometimes I think about all the stubborn people who’ve killed themselves in honor of their freedom…. I’m not talking them stupid ass people who enlist in the military, and blindly take orders without question because somebody offered them a check…. I’m talking about those souls that were lost because they’d rather die than be reduced to something inferior. Like the movie Beloved, when the mother killed her children in the barn. Should we judge her like the people did in the movie? Is she crazy?

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Although I think suicide is some weak minded shit for someone like me to do; I still feel a particular type of honor when I read about slaves who jumped off ships and drowned themselves out of pride. I know it’s a contradiction and it sounds like a horrible thing to do, but I wouldn’t dear disrespect their decision.

I can only imagine how it feels to be so overwhelmed by such an emotion…. We live bullshit lives now; with our iPhones and our televisions. Many of us wouldn’t and couldn’t fathom that type of resolution.

Gunz & Butta

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Assets = Necessary Liabilities + Equity

Who’s responsible for teaching African American youth the difference between assets and unnecessary liabilities?

Watched the Movie “Baby Boy” not too long ago, and Ving Rhames character (Melvin) tried to explain the difference to them “little dumb muthafuckas” in the bedroom….. Judging by the financial choices I’ve seen African American males (ages 18-40) make over the past few yrs; Melvin’s message fell on deaf ears.

I know many people who’ve made great decisions with their money, but a lot of Black males still seem to have this subtle “make it rain” mentality. I said subtle because the average hood nigga can’t really afford to legitimately make it rain (if there’s such a thing).

Why do so many Black males make financially negligent decision?

I personally think it’s because they have self-esteem issues. The same reason a broke bitch will buy a $100 pack of weave before she saves $5 for her child’s tuition, is the same reason a basic nigga will buy 3 sets of rims before he owns a house.

They’re not interested in Guns….

And butter…. Well, butter makes them cum.

There’s something about expensive shit rapidly depreciating that makes bitches wet, and these niggas sign up for the benefits….. Sad thing about it is, most of these dudes know better, but the thirst for new pussy and the temporary high of shit’n on niggas taste too good.

So how do we convince a dumb nigga to stop consciously doing stupid shit?

We don’t….. Ignorance is comprised of the same substance as pride, dignity, and honor. Nobody can take your dignity away from you unless you let them. Unfortunately the same goes for ignorance.

A year from now, if you’ll certainly incur a substantial loss on something you purchased today; then it’s more than likely a bad investment. Especially if the object didn’t increase your productivity in the fist place…..

Melvin:

When you make paper, there are rules that go with it. You got to learn the difference between guns and butter. There are two types of niggas, niggas with guns… …and niggas with butter. What are the guns? That’s the real estate… …the stocks and bonds. Art work. Shit that appreciates with value. What’s the butter? Cars, clothes, jewelry, all the bullshit that don’t mean shit after you buy it. That’s what it’s all about: Guns and butter.

Underprivileged

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I would like to explain my definition of the word “underprivileged” as it pertains to African American youth.

When thinking of the words “underprivileged youth”; I can form an image of Black kids in urban cities playing sports with no equipment. Children at home with no internet access trying to complete a report for school tomorrow. Black students with scraggly first edition books full of outdated information…. I can imagine the kids who’s refrigerators are on “E” and kitchen cabinets prompting mothers to “please connect your charger”. Black fathers who’ve worked all day, only to rent space from another man so his family can have a damn near dilapidated building to call home. Examples of popular imagery of what it’s like to be an underprivileged Black kid in America.

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I think it’s time that Black people start redefining terms commonly used to describe our conditions. If my elders took the time to redefine ridiculous shit like the term “nigga” into an endearing word that means “friend”, then I can change the meaning of “underprivileged”.

My definition of being an underprivileged child has nothing to do with whether or not there was caviar or pizza rolls in my damn freezer.

Underprivileged youth are not children who are born into poverty. They are the children who are raised in households with no conscious parent present. These are the children who were left to learn their history from someone who could never share their perspective. Black children who’s celebrity role models teach them that liabilities like new cars and belligerent friends, alongside a phat ass are grand assets. Underprivileged youth are kids who are raised inside of stifling ignorance to historical economic and political events that sculpt modern day Black culture.

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Ruby Bridges

I was an underprivileged child, so I know these conditions very well…. I never felt underprivileged because my family didn’t own a big house, hell most people in the hood aren’t home owners…. I never felt underprivileged because my books at school were ugly and we didn’t have internet access. I can still make sense out of vandalized text, and what the fuck does watching fights on YouTube do for me?

I did however feel underprivileged when I noticed other young Black people who were raised by entire families of conscious individuals….. How come I didn’t have people like Malcolm X and DuBois in my family?…. Raised without a single Kwame Ture or Marcus Garvey in my life. I would have loved a William Whipper or William Hamilton…..

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Poverty is not the predominant factor that determines a Black child’s likelihood of success. I personally believe that the presence of consciousness has a greater influence on the child’s motivation and overall ambition…. Providing a child with an okay parent and a hundred new book is nice, but providing a child with a conscious parent and a few raggedy highly selected books is priceless.

The Courage for Positivity

I’ve been feeling a negative pressure. I don’t know what it is, the source, or how to stop it….. I could be mistaken, but I think I may have discovered where some of the pressure is stemming from….

I’m apart of a Lean In Circle at my job. Lean In Circles are usually small groups of people who share ideas, stories, and information. This particular lean in circle is a spinoff from a women’s association, so all our members are females.

There are all different types of women in our circle. Some of them are older, younger, American, Honduran, Indian, and even Bulgarian….

Today our topic was on how to balance the grounds in Corporate America with regards to gender. It kinda felt like a feminist meeting at first (which I was not fond of), but then it turn into a discussion about stereotypical behavior women indulge in.

There’s one other Black woman in our circle…. I was completely turned off by her demeanor. As the first negative words delivered at the conference table rushed from her lips, she whipped her head sarcastically. With more sass than necessary she delicately repositioned her weave that swooped just above her brow. She repeated the tossing of her head and fixing of her insecurity the entire time she complained.

I’m probably the only one who analyzed her delivery with mild disgust. In respect to her inappropriate display of character I still walked away with an idea. Maybe the negative pressure I’ve been feeling is a result of socializing with negative females. I desperately inventoried all the conversations I’ve had with other females over the past three months. Not one conversation was completely free of some form of non-constructive negative belief or gossip.

I’m not saying all Black women are negative beings. Maybe we’re just products of our environment and the negativity is produced elsewhere. What I do know is Black women unconsciously (but willingly) consume more negativity then any other group of women on the planet.

The more she shut her damn mouth; the more I enjoyed the meeting. Black women are far too obsessed with negative behaviors. Many of us would only speak 50 words a day if we were constraint to only speak optimistically. Even this post has an element of negativity, but when you negatively discuss negativity, the negatives cancel each other out.

I think Black people are way too kool….. We’re too kool to be completely optimistic and actually happy. I knew not to trust these hoes before I even found out that the heart shape that symbolizes love, isn’t the real shape of a human heart. Smh, taught not to trust before I was taught how to love.

Wish more Black women had the courage to be happy….. The courage to be optimistic about something other than abundant male attention….. I need to find the courage to replace my own negativity that keeps me comfortable….. Black America, where being a female and actually being free to be vulnerable is a platform for humiliation.

You’re Meaningless Entertainment

I wasn’t going write on the subject, but everyone else seems to be captivated by the words or Donald Sterling. Honestly I didn’t listen to the recording and I have no intentions to listen to it. There’s nothing that man could possibly say that would surprise me. When you study American history you’ll be introduced to horrific events that are a lot worse than someone’s petty opinion.

Rather than focus on the recording I’d like to focus on the relevance of entertainer’s social responsibility. I’ve seen multiple people express why athletes and other celebrities should not be expected to participate in social issues involving race.

I will say that Donald Sterling has a right to freely express himself…. That’s his right….

I understand why many people feel like entertainer’s have no responsibility to social movements. It’s unfair to pressure someone into being a political activist for something they may not personally agree with. They could potentially lose money and destroy their reputations. I agree that we can’t expect entertainers to solve our social or political problems. Many of them are not intellectual beings capable of producing even slightly reasonable solutions. Celebrities are here to entertain the public; we have politicians and community activist to handle the more serious issues.

Although I understand these points above, I still personally believe that everyone plays their part in making history. I think one of the main problems in the black community is we don’t expect enough out of each other. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard parents tell their children they better graduate from high school; as if a diploma is still acceptable in today’s economy. Women not expecting their husbands to be faithful, so she throws her chin a little higher and forces a smile while she washes another woman’s lipstick off his collar. Fathers who don’t expect their baby momz to use the child support check she’s been mocking his ego with, to purchase anything for his son/daughter. Nobody expects anything more out of anyone, and nobody feels responsible. We need to start holding each other accountable.

Black solidarity is at an all time low…. Black people are probably thee most individualistic group on the planet. While our Caucasian counterparts practice the “good ol’ boy” system, some of us are gunning each other down in the middle of the street. We are too departmentalized in our approach to solving our common struggle. There’s a reason it takes a village to raise a child…. As your neighbor if I saw your child outside doing something they weren’t supposed to do; I would try to correct their behavior. I’m not going to walk back in the house and say “I don’t have kids, that’s not my department”.

I don’t care if they’re a celebrity or not, every adult human being should be expected to educate oneself and evoke change based on that acquired knowledge.

Do I think that any of these men could be the next Muhammad Ali?…. HELL NAH!!!!
Muhammad Ali was one of the greatest athletes and outspoken activist/representatives in the history of sports. It would be hard to choreograph one individual to be the next Ali, let alone a starting five…. I do think that these men have a responsibility to implement any agenda that promotes progress in their communities. Every adult should have some type of political involvement and explicitly support whatever social/economic/political issue that moves them. You don’t get out of being an adult just because you’re a celebrity.

I’ve also noticed that people who don’t think we should have political expectations for entertainers are a little dramatic. Nobody expect these entertainers to take over the White House. We should just use them as advertising outlets for political agendas that support Black people. Most of them are promoting agendas already anyhow.

I think its kinda messed up that anyone would say that all someone is good for is meaningless entertainment. I’d be pissed If I was an entertainer and someone had that attitude towards me. People are more than their occupations…..

Next question: who are we to say that because a person is Black, they should support the Black community?

I know I’m not going to hold anybody at gun point for their help.

You Stop Bitching = Me Minding My Own Business

You ever wanted to give somebody advice, but you figured it was none of your damn business; So you continued to shut the hell up….. The older I get the more I feel like this. I must be learning how to keep my damn mouth closed…..

Well that, and a general lack of interest in how to solve the same problem over and over again. Sometimes minding your own business means attending to your personal problem without letting everyone know about it.

Occupational Joy

Some clients have like $250k-$500k dollars in stock and they don’t even know it. They bought Apple stock back in the 90′s and forgot all about them….. She said “I feel like I just won the lottery!!!!!! You’re my new best friend”. Well why don’t you gift your new best friend 10 shares :)

Lol I think I just discovered my favorite part of this job. Feels good to tell ppl they’re about to get a check for $400k.